Thanatophobia
by SecretNinja17
Summary: Perry the Platypus never thought he might die on the job, but when the prospect of it is put into his head, will it affect him and his job?  2 chapters written, may be continued upon reviews and requests.
1. Chapter 1

It was a normal day in Danville. Or at least as normal as a place like Danville could be. Oddly enough the strange events that occurred in Danville seemed to revolve around the same group of people. Phineas and Ferb were in their back garden sorting through blueprints. Their parents were out for the day and Candace, their older sister, watched intently from her bedroom ready at any moment to bust her brothers… once she knew what to bust them for. At the foot of a tree in the garden sat their pet, Perry the platypus. As a platypus he doesn't do much, or at least that's what they thought. They couldn't have been more wrong though. While the boys worked on outrageously bizarre contraptions and rides, Perry would sneak off to his Secret Agent job and battle his nemesis Dr. Doofenshmirtz. It seemed now was one of those times. A small communicator hidden on Perry's wrist buzzed. Perry looked round the garden once, to check Phineas and Ferb weren't looking, then dropped down a tube inside the tree trunk, taking a split second to slip on his trademark fedora. ("Hey, where's Perry?") He landed on a small chair in front of a large screen. Same old routine. Major Monogram showed up in the middle of the screen.

"Ah there you are Agent P. It appears Dr Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks again. He's been purchasing a lot of weird stuff on the internet. You know what to do."

Perry saluted the screen and quickly ran to the HQ's garage where his various modes of transport were stored. Rather wanting to see the 'Minotaur's Labyrinth' that Phineas and Ferb were constructing today, Perry chose his fastest vehicle, the platypus shaped hoverjet. As he flew off towards Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated he thought he saw a giant drill and ball of yarn turn up at the front of the house. ("Aren't you a little young to be reconstructing mythical structures?" "Why yes, yes we are.") Perry landed on top of DEI in a battle stance. The giant balcony area had been completely cleared for Doofenshmirtz's latest -inator. Everything but the Shrink-inator which was still plugged in in the corner. Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz turned round when he heard his nemesis land behind him.

"Ah Perry the Platypus, your visit is so appreciated. And by appreciated I mean completely unappreciated!"

Perry jumped when a machine clamped a giant cube around him where his head poked out the top. He looked down at the trap with a frown. It seemed to be made up of multicoloured squares. Doofenshmirtz laughed somewhat evilly at Perry.

"It's a trap made out of a giant rubix cube!… you know cos they're so hard to solve…"

Perry gave him an unimpressed look. Seriously? Rubix cubes? He'd been caught in some weird traps but this one, by far, took the biscuit. Doofenshmirtz shrugged at Perry's unenthusiastic face.

"I'd like to see you make a better trap! Anyway, back to my new evil plan, this…"

He pointed dramatically at the big machine next to him.

"…Is the Earthquake-inator!"

It was a large metal, round machine divided by a ring round it's middle that held the on/off lever. It seemed the top half could spin round, most likely what would cause the earthquakes. Perry glowered at his enemy. Usually his insane schemes involved ruining someone's day or making everyone look the tiniest bit inferior to himself. His plans rarely meant to harm a population (like a real evil genius's might). But an Earthquake-inator sounded like it could hurt someone, even if that was not his intent. Doof ignored Perry's stare and instead continued with his rambling back-story.

"You see Perry the Platypus, it all started when my family went on a long trip for one of my brother, Roger's, international kickball tournaments. You remember him, right? It was held right next to the Grand Canyon! But my mother didn't want me sightseeing, said it was a waste of time. We were in the top stand, I mean I could have just turned around and looked at it! But noooo, she wouldn't let me! So we left without even the smallest glimpse at something so incredible. I mean I could go and see it now, but then there's all the travelling and then all the tourists when I get there. So I'm just going to make one right here! Doesn't that sound good Perry the Platypus?"

Perry gave his trademark chatter (grrrrr), looking both furious and shocked at the same time. Only someone like Doofenshmirtz could be so stupid as to try and recreate the Grand Canyon without realising it might destroy the Tristate area. Doof turned back to his machine.

"Who cares what you think, I'm doing it anyway!"

He was sent reeling forwards when a webbed foot connected with the back of his head. His face smacked into the ground painfully. He recovered and spun round to see Perry stood waiting to attack again and the remains of his trap open on the floor. Each side was one full colour.

"You solved my rubix cube trap, Perry the Platypus?"

Perry grinned and lunged at the evil inventor again. Doofenshmirtz leapt to his feet and sprinted round the Earthquake-inator. He grabbed at the Lever and began to pull it down. It got caught half way and stuck out when Doof was punched in the face by Perry. Both landed on the floor in a scuffle for a moment when the machine began to shake. Doofenshmirtz threw Perry off him long enough to roll over to the machine, reach up and press a small button under the lever.

"Too late Perry the Platypus! Too late!"Perry threw himself at the machine, frantically pressing at buttons, none of them seeming to do anything. Doofenshmirtz stepped away from the machine and laughed evilly.

"I win this time Perry the Platypus!"

Perry panicked. The top of the machine began to spin. He could feel the building start to shake. By the look on Doof's face he'd realised too late that this had been a very dangerous thing to do. Perry jumped towards Doofenshmirtz, hoping he could convince him to turn off the machine before it destroyed anything. Doof saw Perry coming towards him and stepped back, expecting another punch in the face. It came as a great shock to them both when neither thing happened. Heinz held his hands up to his face, while Perry jumped at him. The machine spun the lever round at great speed and it hit the side of Perry's head. Doofenshmirtz gasped in shock as he saw an unconscious Perry go flying over the edge of the building. Acting on impulse he hurled himself after his nemesis and barely caught his furry paw before Perry could be sent plummeting to his death. The building shook mercilessly under his feet as he tried to pull Perry back over the balcony edge. The machine carried on spinning, bouncing with the earth quaking, closer and closer to where Doofenshmirtz held tightly to Perry's paw. Heinz saw this and tugged quicker. He didn't realise a small semi-aquatic mammal could be so heavy. Perry opened his eyes and saw a sheer drop below him. He scrabbled, terrified, at his enemies hand until somehow Doof pulled him up and threw them both a few meters away, where they landed on their backs. The Earthquake-inator juddered violently, right where they'd been not a second earlier, before crashing right over the edge of the building and smashing into the pavement below. With the machine destroyed the earthquake stopped. Both Perry and Doofenshmirtz ran to peer over the balcony at the metal carnage below. Doof looked embarrassed.

"You know in hindsight I probably should have built that on the ground…"Perry shuddered as he thought about how that mess a great deal of floors below could have been him. Doofenshmirtz seemed to have had the same thought. He suddenly went very pale and looked at Perry in an almost ashamed way.

"Maybe we should pick this up tomorrow Perry the Platypus, call it a day?"

Perry nodded, not taking his eyes off the smashed pavement. He gulped and headed back to his jet, too shaken to do much else. He let autopilot take him home. When he got home and adopted his 'dumb pet' guise he heard Candace shouting frantically at her mother."Mom! Look, Phineas and Ferb build a Labyrinth in the backyard!"

Which was quickly followed by a

"Candace there's nothing here. Oh hi boys, you look dirty. Get cleaned up and I'll make snacks."

Perry snuck back into the house as the boys were discussing how next time they build something underground they should get Earthquake insurance.

"Oh there you are, Perry."

Perry chattered and smiled to himself. Only in a town as 'normal' as Danville could the bizarre be so routine.


	2. Chapter 2

Perry woke the next morning and stretched himself. He was on Phineas's bed, which was strange because he'd switched to Ferb's bed in the middle of the night. Maybe the boys moved him. Or maybe he was still so shaken up from the previous day that he'd imagined moving.

The memories of the last 24 hours came flooding back to him. Doofenshmirtz, the Earthquake-inator, falling… He'd nearly died. It scared him to think about. What if he hadn't made it, if Doof hadn't caught him? His family would never know what happened to him, they might think he'd run away or deserted them. Perry blinked back tears. In his line of work anything could happen, but he hadn't ever thought about being killed on the job before. Now it was all he could think about. He almost thought about taking the day off, but Major Monogram would not like it. Perry sighed before making his way through the house on four legs, just in case. Perry walked into the kitchen and stepped on a large blueprint. He was lifted off it by Phineas, who thankfully didn't seem to mind much.

"Careful, Perry. That's for our giant spinning plates. Though I don't know where we can get plates that big yet…"

Perry was set down next to the table and repressed a smile when the family fell into routines.

"Did you hear that, Mum? Giant… Spinning… Plates!"

Candace spoke each word slowly with emphasis as though Linda wasn't going to understand.

"Yes, I know Candace. Like the ones in the circus. Just don't use my good plates, boys."

Candace stormed up to her room muttering something about getting her camera. Before the rest of the family could notice, Perry slipped away into a tube hidden under a house plant. He landed in his seat at the HQ again. (Hey, where's Perry?) Monogram was on the giant screen before him wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

"Ah, Agent P. What, this? It's casual Friday."

Perry rolled his eyes. Nobody ever told him about these things. Not that it mattered, as a Platypus with nothing but a hat he was about as casual as he could get.

"It seems Doofenshmirtz has bought up all the batteries in the Tristate area. We need you to find out what he's up to and put a stop to it."

Perry saluted at the screen and ran off to his scooter. This was a day just like any other, right? Then why did it feel so different? Perry drove out of one of the many exits hidden round town and headed for Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. He had a sickening fluttering in his stomach. He knew he was nervous but he should have no reason to be worried. Unless the same thing happened again…

Perry took the stairs up to the evil scientists floor, hoping to prolong the inevitable. He hoped the most forward approach would not be expected as he opened the front door with the key he'd been given. It really did save money on broken doors. He stepped into the room, looking briefly round. He didn't see anything so took another step. Suddenly something fell over him with a loud smack. His paws flew over his head to protect himself but he soon found that nothing had hit him. Doofenshmirtz had apparently gone cheap on the trap and just dropped a washing basket over his nemesis. Perry straightened up to try and push it off of him but Doof had already piled some bricks on top of it. Doofenshmirtz laughed and closed his front door.

"Perry the Platypus, you're in for a bit of a _shock_."

Perry raised an eyebrow at the scientist. Was that supposed to be a pun? Doof seemed to catch on that he'd said it at the wrong time.

"Riiight… I haven't explained my scheme yet. Well my latest invention is the Lightning-inator!"

He pointed dramatically at a little machine in the middle of the room that looked surprisingly like a bug-zapper.

"This little machine can take the energy of millions of batteries and change it into pure electricity! With this I can devastate the Tristate area with lightning bolts! Aaand win that bet with Vanessa that lightning can strike the same place twice if there's enough of it, but that's not the important part."

Perry wasn't paying too much attention to his enemy's rambling. He'd picked a ruler up off the floor and was busy knocking bricks off the basket while Doof's back was turned. Doofenshmirtz didn't hear the noise behind him as he turned on the whirring -inator with a button on a pad in his hand. Perry flung the basket over his head and into Doofenshmirtz, who turned round and rubbed the back of his head.

"Ow! Well you know what, it doesn't matter if you escape! This one's remote controlled and I have the remote!"

And with that Doof ran off with a loud cackle to the balcony holding the Lightning-inator and its remote. Perry gave a signature chatter before rushing after him. The moment he set foot on the balcony however, all rational thinking left the Platypus. Perry froze up. He didn't know why he did it, but he couldn't move, his heart pounded in his chest and all he could think about was the drop below him. The Lightning-inator was up and running, the skies turned a dark shade of purple with clouds as lightning began to build, thunderous rumbles signalling their arrival. Doof laughed but soon realised that his nemesis hadn't followed him which was very un-Perry the Platypus-like.

Lightning showered over the Tristate area but was all drawn to one spot. Phineas and Ferb watched in awe as waves of bright white light struck the giant metal pole sticking out of their back garden.

"Hey, Ferb. I didn't know plate spinners made such good lightning conductors."

Back on the balcony of DEI, Perry still hadn't moved a muscle. His eyes were wide with shock as he realised that he couldn't stop the -inator this time. Luckily the lightning seemed to be all headed to one same area, so most of the Tristate area was safe. Doofenshmirtz has stopped laughing and watched Perry the Platypus curiously. He glared when he realised the semi-aquatic mammal wasn't going to try and stop him. Was his scheme really that unthreatening. His Lightning-inator obviously a failure, Doof hurled it at Perry with poor aim. It bounced off the floor next to Perry's feet and then again over the edge of the balcony.

The noise startled Perry out of his frozen state and the agent shot back into the building faster than the evil scientist thought a Platypus could move. Doofenshmirtz was very confused and cautiously followed his frenemy, wary that it might be a trap of his own. When he went back into the room the only strange thing he saw was the washing basket, turned upside-down, shaking. Still careful, Doof picked up the basket and was shocked at what he saw. Perry the Platypus, his most formidable foe, was curled in a tight ball trembling. His fedora was pulled down over his eyes, balanced on his beak. Doofenshmirtz felt something tug on his heartstrings. He'd never seen Perry the Platypus like this and for some reason had no desire to ever see it again. Doof knelt down and rested his hand on Perry's back. Perry stopped shaking, as though only just realising that his adversary was there.

"What's wrong, Perry the Platypus?"

Perry shook his head and curled up tighter. Now, Doof knew his frenemy, it was part of the job to, and he knew something was very wrong. He scooped Perry up into his arms, trying his best not to feel awkward about it. He slowly got the little mammal to uncurl and then held him at arms length, his hands holding just under Perry's arms. Perry managed to keep his hat over his eyes, but otherwise went limp. He wasn't in any condition to be fighting. Doof tried to guess at what might be the matter, after all Perry couldn't speak, being a Platypus and all.

"Is this about what happened yesterday?"

Perry felt his heart skip a beat as all the fear rushed through him again at once. All he could remember was his family and how he didn't want to die and leave all of that. A large tear snuck its way past his fedora and dripped off the end of his beak. Doofenshmirtz sighed, he'd guessed as much.

"Look, Perry the Platypus, I didn't mean for you to fall. It scared me a bit too."

Perry dared to look up slightly at this, trying in vain to hide his watery eyes. Doof nodded.

"No really, it did. I wouldn't be much of an evil genius without a nemesis would I? If it makes you feel better we can keep all our fighting indoors. No chance of falling off of anything!"

Doofenshmirtz had a goofy half-hearted grin on his face. Perry couldn't help but smile weakly. It was a pitifully small gesture considering the emotional trauma he'd suffered because of this, but Perry knew that his frenemy was trying his best to get things back to normal. Knowing that Doofenshmirtz didn't ever mean him intentional harm did manage to lift Perry's spirits though. Perry nodded slowly, the lump in his throat causing him to let a few more tears spill. Some were from the previous fear but most were from relief. Acting on impulse, Doof brought his crying nemesis into a tight hug before putting him back on the floor.

"I don't care what Major Monobrow says. I think you should take the rest of the day off."

Perry wiped the stray tear traces from his eyes and smiled gratefully at Doofenshmirtz, who just shooed him out the door.

"Just… promise you'll be better tomorrow."

Somehow Perry knew he wasn't talking about the fighting. Perry took the long way home, happy in knowing that sometimes the one who understands most is the one you least expected to understand at all. When he got home Candace was screaming something about spinning plates while Phineas was insisting that they were melted by lightning. Linda completely ignored the sibling hostility. Perry smiled warmly. He was lucky to have his family, but he was very privileged to have a frenemy like Doofenshmirtz.


End file.
